He worked for Tate and Lyles for many years. And he used to take molasses around the country. And I used to love going in the truck with him. So he would come in, wake me up in my bed, 4am. And of course, it’d still be dark. And I used to have a Paddington Bear. At the time he was probably life-size, because I was only about five. And I’d take his Wellington boots off of him, and put them on my own feet to go trucking with my dad. And I’d climb into the cab, which was so huge – you know, when you’re five years old you’re looking down on the world beneath you. And I just remember the smell of molasses. And then we’d just drive and it was just great. Seeing the countryside. 

Dad would always play a little trick on me. He’d always pretend to doze off and close one eye. And of course, I could never see the other eye open. I’d be panicking: ‘Dad, Dad!’. But every time I’d bloody fall for it. Those memories just spark up such wonderful feelings. Because it’s a time that we shared together that really bonded dad and I… It just fills my heart with joy really, that we shared those moments.

I’m Nina, I live in Chelmsford, in Essex. I’m almost 50.

So just after I’d had my daughter, really, I noticed that dad’s memory was starting to fail him. And probably around about seven or eight years ago now, he was eventually diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. We managed to keep Dad in his home for just over 12 years. And then he had a couple of infections. And he had to go into hospital. Yeah, he was in a bad way actually, and I thought I was going to lose him, which was awful. It was so so bad a situation. 

I had promised that I wouldn’t put him in a home. And that was a real hard thing. Because I genuinely meant that at the time, I did. As things have progressed, I appreciate that it can’t be done. It’s – it’s too difficult a disease, personally, for me to live with. And I know in my heart of hearts, that dad would hate to think that he’s put my life on hold for him, he just would not want that. And I am my dad, and I know that I wouldn’t want that for my children either. 

So we packed some stuff up. I remember thinking, God, is this going to be the last time he ever walks in his home? And it was. It actually was because he got in the home. And you know – the rest, as they say, is history. He’s never mentioned going home.

Dad moved into the home in January. And then Covid struck. And they went into lockdown at the home, earlier before everybody else. 

And I said ‘Okay, so do you think I’ll be able to see Dad?’

And they said, ‘Well, not at the moment’. 

So – from seeing my dad every day, to being told you can’t see your dad – that was tough. I was really scared, if I’m honest, that he would forget who I am. 

So I just spoke to the home manager and I just said, ‘look if I can do anything to help, cook, clean, I will do entertainment, I will do anything.’ 

So they said ‘okay, you know, we’ll see how it goes.’ 

Well, of course, it got a lot worse. I phoned them a couple of times, and they said, ‘You know, we think we’re at a stage now where we do need help’. And I had a couple of interviews. I had a couple of tests – well, I say a couple; it was about eight – and then I had to wait for a DBS check because they have to be really strict on who they let into the homes. So that took about five weeks to come through. 

And then they rang to say ‘We want you to come in and help.’ 

So the first day that I started at the care home, I was so excited because I knew that I could see Dad. So I hid behind his bed. And then I jumped out and I said, ‘Surprise!’

And he just came to hug me. 

So that was really, really tough. But he doesn’t know if he probably saw me yesterday or if it was the five weeks, who knows? But for me… it was amazing.

So of course, you know, my whole motivation to go into the home was to see Dad. But what has come out of that is just crazy. I now do three or four days a week there as a leisure activity person. So where I was a Butlins redcoat for so many years, I’ve managed to put all that training into play. And we do sing-alongs, we do balloon tennis, card games, we might do word games. We talked about knobbly knees competitions. 

I never ever thought I would love it as much as I do. And then I get to do activities with him and everybody else. Which is hilarious, because of course he plays up. No end. And he would play up anyway because that’s what he does. But the fact that it’s me… yeah, he plays up.

So this is Corona Kev. And I got Corona Kev the day before the country went into lockdown. Now Kev, is an absolutely gorgeous felt wool bear. He has portly stomach, lovely blue boots. And he has a gold chain. And I adore him. At the start of this, it was really worrying. But you know, just looking at his face now – I think it all came good. And he’s got that face that makes you think ‘Don’t worry, it’s all good to come good’. And actually, there is a lot more to Corona Kev. He has many friends now throughout the care home. Because the felty gang who made him saw what I was doing within the home and they sent a couple in for free for some residents. He has been through this whole journey with us. And he’s managed to spread joy like I have throughout the home. And this has got me through a very bad time. 

Has mine and dad’s relationship changed?

Absolutely.

But I’ll tell you one thing that hasn’t changed, and that’s the amount of laughter that we have. And I truly believe that’ll be the last trait to go from him, his laughter, because he’s always up to no good.